Memphis had a hockey game yesterday against a team from Chilliwack at Centre Ice in the Blueridge area of Abbotsford. It was the last game of the season before he has two final tournaments. He was especially excited about this game because his friend was coming to watch him play. It was so fun to watch Memphis trying his hardest, and then always looking to the stands to see if we were watching. Memphis’s little buddy did a great job cheering him on wants to sign up to play next year.
This post isn’t about Memphis’s hockey game, it’s about what happened when we were walking to the car after the game. As we were walking towards the Flex, I turned around to see where the boys were when a thought popped into my mind that caught me off guard – I wonder what Memphis thinks about me? Now, hear me out. Don’t feel sorry for me or think I am being too hard on myself, because I know I am not. It was an honest question. Our kids can be often overlooked during difficult times. In that moment I wanted to know what Memphis thought about me? What does he think about when he sees me? What does he worry about? What does he think about when he knows what daddy is going through? The thought really began to affect me. It challenged me. You even feel somewhat helpless.
Thankfully the thoughts didn’t last too long…
Our kids look to us as parents more than we realize. There are always watching. Always listening. Even when we don’t think they are – they most certainly are. Through this journey, Memphis, along with Nola, and River have had front row seats to see some incredible things! They too have learnt a lot through this time. You learn a lot about yourself, others, and God through pain and suffering. It is a beauty to behold. They have had the opportunity to see their parents ‘live out their faith.’ It has been one incredible ride so far, and I would n’t change a thing. Our children watch everyday the practical, and tangible ways God has taken care of us – usually through His people. It is fun talking to them about the things of God, and that even though in life there will be difficult times, He is still good – NO MATTER WHAT! Not only is God working in my life through this process, I know He is doing a deep work in my kid’s lives too.