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treatments

Journey Life Update

de·pres·sion

Posted on April 29, 2016

dəˈpreSH(ə)n/
noun
1. 
feelings of severe despondency and dejection.”self-doubt creeps in and that swiftly turns to depression. 

Have you ever been there?

Depressed.
Alone.
Isolated.
Hopeless.

I can remember a time in my life when I actually thought I was untouchable. There was no way a guy like me would ever struggle with depression or be diagnosed with cancer. It was just not possible… or so I thought.

It’s hard to admit our weaknesses. We don’t want people to see us for who we really are:
Broken (but not in a bad way.
Messy.
Needy.
Scared.
Lonely.

Jamie has struggled in the past with depression. She talks very candidly about it, and how God has brought healing to her life. Does depression try and wrap it’s coils around her every once and a while? You’re darn right it does! But she keeps fighting! We have had many interesting, and difficult conversations on this topic throughout our marriage. In the past it was a topic I struggled to identify with as depression wasn’t something I had experienced before.

That all changed recently…

I don’t know the exact date when it started, but it was like wearing a 250 pound soaking wet wool blanket everyday. It was horrible. I had absolutely no motivation, and my outlook on life had become pretty bleak. Depression had moved into my life.

One hour would be long enough – let alone having to live with depression for a month or two. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like if it was a life long battle. My heart goes out to those who constantly and consistently battle depression. No one should have to ‘do life’ alone, but that’s what depression does – it separates and isolates.

Talking about it was the last thing I wanted to do.

Thankfully it didn’t last long. I didn’t have to take any medicine for it, or didn’t see a doctor about it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking out help. For me, it was like someone had removed the soaking wet, wool blanket from me. It feels like I can finally stand up straight. I am motivated to get back into the swing of things, and my outlook began to change. My heart is full of vision again!

It’s only been a few weeks now since I started feeling better, but I am SO thankful for His grace & mercy!










Family Health Journey Life Story Update

This Is What She Says

Posted on March 20, 2016

I asked Jamie to write something for the blog – so here it is…

When Sean spoke the words”It’s cancer” from the telephone, I on the receiving end, had a nanosecond to think, respond, and choose. I had to think what our now life was going to look like, to respond as from either a selfish or selfless counterpart, and I would have to choose to believe whatever belief I did have that moment while sitting on the stairs as the main entrance of our townhouse spun around me. Waves of innocent laughter from the children outside absolutely unaware of the pressure beginning to fall like dead weights on my shoulders. The only thing within the forefront of my mind was how are we going to fix this? How are we going to stop this thing from destroying our lives.

I have become obsessed with trying to keep the family in somewhat of a systematic order, but all at the same time losing ourselves in the mix of it. Maybe not losing ourselves as much as me losing me. Myself no longer existing, not able to compete with the unrest of researching, juicing, prepping, planning, coping, not coping, screaming, crying, and so on. Life went to a complete screeching halt. We were coasting, on cruise control, and then BAM! A deer jumped out. Well, not a deer, but a big merciless monster. The destroyer, the devourer of life. As a deer stares not knowing, this beast knows exactly what he is looking back at. Our eyes defence-less, as we come face to face with this rude awakening. Life is not meant to be on cruise control. It is to be lived. Plain and simple. To live is to live and not with our heads back on the head rest and our eyes shut tight.

I would say we currently have had a major realization of the topic of no guarantees in life. There aren’t any and to come to terms with that, and I mean really come to terms with it no denying, wishing, or dreaming of some far-fetched life with guarantees, because there isn’t any such thing.

Today We are making memories, loving each day we have and intentional about everything we do. Our eyes aren’t closed, squinting,or behind our hands anymore, but open to the possible and the impossible. We are taking everything we have in today and paying close attention to every detail.




Journey Life Update

Castle Fun Park – A Scary Trip

Posted on March 19, 2016

It seemed like a good idea at the time, but …

Earlier…

I had just finished my treatment at the doctors when I got an idea to take the kids to Castle Fun Park. We jumped in the Flex and headed east to CFP. The entire ride the kids couldn’t contain their excitement. It was like someone had given them a 2L of Coca Cola to drink before they got into the car. We arrived after a 10 minute ride, and went immediately to purchase our tickets. One of the traditions we have when we visit CFP is the kids get a blue slushy to drink. I think this is the highlight of the trip for the rugrats. After getting some food and their blue slushies, it was time to head upstairs and play some games.

It was our first time at CFP in a few months. They had obviously done some renovations and upgrades since we were there last. It was a blast watching the kids have so much fun. We are one of those families who haven’t really let their kids get involved with video games (and we are ok with that).

We made our way around the arcade. Each kid had their own card and could decide what games they wanted to play. It is hilarious watching 3 kids trying to figure out what game they wanted to play. I think they were on sensory overload. Part way through our evening, Memphis decided that he wanted to play ‘dome hockey.’ How many remember ‘dome hockey?’ I am not too sure if that is even the name, but oh well, that’s what we call it. We headed over to the game and made our teams. It was Nola & River against Memphis & Dad. Earlier I started to feel a bit dizzy, but nothing too much. I ignored it, and kept playing with the kids. A couple of minutes into our game and the dizziness seemed to increase, and the next thing I know – I hit the ground!

I had passed out. Where was I? How did I get here. All I remember is playing with the kids on the ground – or at least that’s what I thought I doing. Panic started to set in. I was scared. Not for me, but for my kids. They had no idea what was going on. I was out of control. Thankfully, there were two guys playing pool who had seen what had happened. They were concerned. I am sure they thought I was drunk. They called for help, and a few seconds later, two ladies showed up. I made my way to a car video game, and sat down. I still didn’t know what was going on. Nola is crying, the boys seem to be oblivious, the room is spinning, and I have no idea what is going on. Crazy! Nothing like this has ever happened to me. Things seemed to be settling down, and I was beginning to feel better after a few minutes. I called Jamie, and she arranged for the kids and myself to be picked up by our good friend Lizzie.

After a couple of minutes we headed downstairs to wait for our ride. The ladies with us were amazing! They did a fantastic job calming the kids, and even played a few games with them while we waited. Five minutes later, Lizzie & Jill showed up. As soon as I saw them I lost it. I don’t think I have ever cried so hard. I was scared – but mostly for my kids. I was relieved to see them. They just wrapped their arms around me, and assured me everything was going to be ok.

It was time to go home…

Check out the below video of our scary adventure to Castle Fun Park. You actually see the moment I pass out.

FYI – I am fine. There is nothing to worry about.




Blog Journey

Stage 4

Posted on August 21, 2015

We decided we would walk to the hospital this morning. It was a short, brisk walk from our house to the clinic. It’s kind of nice living so close to the hospital in light of our situation. We arrived on the second floor of the cancer wing and proceeded to the front desk. I checked in wand was given a bunch of paperwork to fill out. Jamie and I took our seat in the waiting room and filled out the all the necessary forms. It didn’t take too long to fill everything out, so I returned the forms to the nurse at the desk and took my seat. I was nervous at all. I actually was quite excited to finally get the ball rolling. We waited about 20 minutes and then it was time to meet with the doctor. We were ushered into a small, sterile room. We waited a few more minutes before the door opened and a young lady walked through the door. She introduced herself as Denise and that she would be collecting a little more background information on me before i was to meet with Dr. Ahmed. After about 15 minutes of answering her questions and taking some time to ask her some questions, it was finally time to meet with the doctor. Dr. Ahmed introduced himself and sat down next to me and spent a few seconds looking over my file. He asked me a bunch of questions and then it was time for him to do a physical. I was too excited about this, but hey, whatever. I got up on the table and followed the doctors instructions. Let’s just say he was thorough. After the physical examination I got dressed again and took my seat. He told me everything looked and sounded good. That was positive! As we sat in there in the examining room, Dr. Ahmed began to inform us about what our next steps would be. The tumor in my colon will be left alone right now because they are concerned about the spots on my liver. We knew that there were spots on my liver and on my lungs but what he told us next was a punch right in the face. He informed us that the spots on my liver are cancer. It is stage 4 liver cancer. Are you kidding me? I just sat there stunned. Jamie too. Dr. Ahmed informed us that the best course of action will be chemotherapy. We listened to what he had to say and left the room speechless. Our heads were spinning. What were we going to do? Before we left the office we asked about the success rates of chemo and the mortality rates. He could give us a definitive answer as he is not a specialist in this area but he did say that the mortality rate in the past with this type of cancer is 5 years. Now we respect what the doctors have to say and we will do what they suggest to do, but we continue to hold onto our anchor.

Hebrews 6