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Death

Family Life Music

River.

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Tonight we celebrated Sean’s birthday in a traditionally nontraditional way. Greek food. For a man who didn’t like to profess to having favourites, this was something he enjoyed immensely as a family in those moments when he wanted to celebrate a victory or to even embrace a defeat. He would have been 42 today. It’s a far out emotion. Unlike my shallow self, he loved birthdays and the entering into a new year of life. I panic with birthdays. I panic with the inevitable process of aging. But 42. I think of the dreams he had and the visions, the endless vision he had for our family, for our community, for the church, and for every person he befriended. It was nonstop…and it is mind blowing how that the vision has stopped in time- to some degree- when he died at 40. Life has continued to move forward, of course, and I do believe we are beginning to learn the rhythm to this unfamiliar tune. Tonight after putting the kids to bed, I saw that it was only River who drew pictures in the birthday journal we made for Sean last year. Nola said earlier she wasn’t ready to write in it and Memphis, well, he’s a thinker. I don’t want to put pressure on the kids to have to do anything. I want to leave this journal as mere option- write it or not. Be free. My heart broke for River, though. He was quite young when Sean was diagnosed and really witnessed a lot of the gruesomeness sickness does to one’s well being. He missed out on a lot of the fun things his dad did or at least would have remembered him doing. To have been a 4 year old with a dad too sick to play or to go on adventures with, he seems to have this unspeakable grace for the whole thing. Does he not remember how horrible it was? Or perhaps he only remembers how loved he was by his dad and those other things don’t really matter to his young heart. I am not sure. For this Dennis the Menace meets Tom Sawyer boy, there is a kindness and an inner strength I pray continues to grow and develop with whatever diversity comes his way. God I pray he would remain grounded in the solidness only love truly can instil.

Life Social

Pray For Orlando

Such a tragic event has taken place in Orlando, Florida. Please continue to pray for all those affected by this horrible tragedy.

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Journey

I Have Cancer

Never did I think I would utter those three words. I lost my biological mother to lung cancer last year and my mother died 8 years ago of non Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I know way too many stories of people who have lost a loved one to cancer. Even as I write this I cannot help but think this is all a dream. I can’t have cancer. I am a healthy, 39 year old male. Sure, I don’t always eat the way I should, but never in a million years did I think cancer would affect me personally. I have a thousand questions racing through my mind and I am scared. I don’t know what is going to happen but I am going to remain positive through this journey. I know my family and I are not alone and we are grateful for all the support we have. We choose to trust Him through this process and know that no matter what, He is good!

This page is to capture the journey my family and I are about to embark upon. I invite you to join us. Please feel free to leave your comments in the posts below. Also, send me your prayer requests. There are many people in our corner helping us and praying for us and I want to do the same for others. Email: sean@seansabourin.com