Blog Journey

Something I Fear

I’m not afraid of death. Honestly, I’m not. What I do fear though is what life would be like for my wife and three kids if I were to die prematurely. This is something that crosses my mind at least once a day. I know that they will be taken care of and that everything will be alright but I sometimes think about not being a part of their lives. I want to grow old with the love of my life. I want to see and be a part of all three of my children as they grow. I want to see what God will do in and through our church family at Connect. I want to travel to places with my wife that never of us have been before. I want to walk my little girl down the aisle and hand her over to a young man who will love and respect her. I want to be a coach for my son’s sports teams. I want to watch them transform and mature into godly, responsible men. I want to be a grandpa one day. I want to reach more people with the good news of Jesus Christ. I want to be there for them. I want to protect and provide for them to the best of my ability. I don’t want them blaming or resenting God. I don’t want them to make poor choices because of the pain they feel. My heart breaks at the thought of not being around. There is still so much I want to do, places I want to visit and people I want to meet. I’m not ready to die. I am ready and willing to fight. I know I am not alone.

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