I feel like a prisoner at times. I know I shouldn’t always go by my ‘feelings,’ but hey – I’m human.
Confined.
Trapped.
Isolated.
I just want to feel normal again…
When will all of this be over? Is this what the rest of our future looks like? These are just a couple of questions I have.
Overwhelmed.
Anger.
Darkness.
Sinking.
Suffocating.
These are just some of the thought processes I have had over the past few days. Fun times!!
Don’t get me wrong – it’s not always like this, but I definitely do have my days.
I was laying on the bathroom floor the other day just about to complete my 10th enema of the day when it hit me – I am a prisoner! I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs! All I could do is cry.
Between the food restrictions, daily treatments, financial pressures, relational pressures, multiple & daily enemas, needles, body aches, ‘stinking thinking’ at times, fear, and a plethora of other ‘pressures’ it can be overwhelming. I am just being honest. I am not throwing in the towel or waving the white flag. I continue to fight! Everyday! I won’t stop.
I long for freedom from this prison.
