My Adoption Struggles

I remember the very day my parents told me I was adopted. It is a day I will never forget. At the time, I was approximately 5 years old and when they had sat me down on that green, flower patterned couch in the living room. I remember it was bright in the room and was somewhat bothered by the fact I had to set down my GI Joe and listen to something mom and dad wanted to talk about.

The first few words from my father’s mouth I remember especially – “Sean, do you know what it means to be adopted?” Of course at the age of 5 I did not have a clue what they were talking about. All I knew was that GI Joe was waiting for me in my room. Couldn’t this wait? I continued to sit there and listen to my parents tell me how I was their God-chosen son and they loved me a great deal. Did I believe them? I think so. I wanted to. But could I?

You see, although I believe my parents loved me like their very own. They showed my love not just through words, but actions as well. The problem wasn’t them. It was me. As I look back on my life, I know I hadn’t fully given them my heart. A son gives his heart. I hadn’t because I didn’t know how to. I am so thankful for the incredible grace God has shown to me throughout my life, and the incredible family He has place me in. Scripture tells us, God places the lonely in families (Psalm 68:6).

I commend anyone who has it in their hearts to adopt. I think it is such an incredible act of love! For years I struggled with the reality of being adopted. I struggled with my feelings towards my biological mother, rejection, a lack of identity. Then one day, God revealed to me that I was loved! I had read John 3:16 thousands of times, but it came alive to me one day and I have never been the same since. God showed me that my biological mother loved me deeply, that she knew she couldn’t give me the life she wanted for me so she gave! WOW! It took me many years to come to that revelation, but I am glad I did.

For those who may come across this post, I hope that my story can be a help to you and to your journey whether you are the parent who has adopted or the one who has been adopted. To the parents – thank you for the gift you give. To those who have been adopted – you are loved! I would love to hear from you.