When we first received the news about the diagnosis, thousands of thoughts flooded my mind. One of the thoughts that wouldn’t leave me alone was, “what about my kids.” I love my kids! Each of them are amazing in their own unique way. I often wonder how well I am doing at raising them. I dream about their future and ponder what type of men and woman they will become as they grow older. Today i was looking through some old journals and came across a letter I wrote six months before Nola was born. Nola is our oldest, then Memphis and finally River. River is our miracle baby, but that is a story for another time. Below is the letter I wrote to Nola before she was born. We didn’t know what we were going to have at the time of this writing.
Letter to my child,
I often wonder about you! I have waited a long time for your arrival
and will continue to as you are only 14 weeks old as of today. I
couldn’t sleep tonight, so I thought I would write you a letter.
Your mother is sleeping right now. She needs her rest. It is 12:10AM
on Monday, August 26, 2006. It is quiet, yet the traffic on the highway
is steady. I wonder what you will look like? I often joke that I
want you to have your mother’s looks but my personality. Your mother
is so beautiful! I love her so much. Though we have not yet face to
face, I already love you with all my heart. You are so very special. I have
to be honest with you, I’m a little afraid. I don’t want to mess up raising
you. I want the best for you and your mother and I want you to have a
good life. This is our first time being parents and we don’t really know
what to expect. We are hopeful because of our faith. We pray for you on
a regular basis. The Lord is going to have tremendous plans for your life.
My first piece of advice for you is to love God with all your heart,
mind, and soul. The second piece of advice is to follow Jesus
wherever He leads you. Continually give yourself to the power
of the Holy Spirit because you my child are destined for greatness!
I love you and can’t wait to hold you in my arms for the first time.