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Health Journey Update

This Made My Day

Today has been a pretty good day so far! For some reason I thought it might be somewhat emotional with this being the one year mark since the diagnosis. Just yesterday Jamie admitted to me for the first time that there was a time when she didn’t think I would make it to see River’s 5th birthday.

Well, I am still here and still fighting!

It was nearly 6 months ago when I experienced a breakthrough in regards to the mental game of fighting for your life. The first six months being I was consumed with my mortality and actually believing I would survive this diagnosis.

Then the breakthrough came!

Since then, death is not something I give any thought to. I take each day I am given and do my best to make the most of it. Today was a good day, and for a couple of reasons, but only one I want to share here in this post.

This morning before church I was sitting on the bench outside of the school where we meet each Sunday. I happen to be sitting with my two boys – chatting about the day and what may happen. As we were sitting there, Jill Burkinshaw – a woman who was instrumental in pairing up Jamie and I 12 years ago was walking down the path towards the front of the school.

(Not only was Jill key to Jamie and I meeting, and eventually getting married – she has been an incredible blessing to our lives and the lives of many others.)

In her hand was a white bag and she headed straight for the boys and I. We greeted one another and then she handed me the bag. In it was a beautiful potted, yellow flower. At first I thought it might be for Jamie, but she handed it to me and congratulated me on making it through this year.

What a thoughtful gift!

Even in the midst of Jill walking out her own journey with her husband’s health she thought about the importance of this day, and gave such a beautiful card with such meaningful words – and a beautiful flower!

This definitely made my day!

Thanks Jill for your thoughtfulness and your love for us as a family.

We love you!

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Blog Life My Story Update

Almost One Year Later

I can remember a time when I didn’t think this day was possible. Tomorrow marks one year since our lives were radically altered. That day is still so vivid in my memory banks! I find it somewhat difficult to articulate the range of emotions and feelings I experienced that day! If there was just one – I would say anger!

My anger was directed at myself and God! How could He allow something like this to happen? Doesn’t He know who I am? After some time, the anger I felt was now directed at myself. How could I allow this to happen? Why didn’t I act sooner? Why did I eat so horribly? On and on it goes.

If I was honest – I would say that the anger is still there – but not to the degree that it once was. Nobody wants to live with cancer. It is such an unwanted houseguest. It barged into our lives without any announcement and it moved right in. Everyday since the diagnosis I have been doing what I can to evict this horrible disease!

Throughout this year I (and my family) have experienced many highs and lows. We have felt the incredible love and support from so many! Our family and close friends have been amazing! Even complete strangers have embraced us! It has truly been a difficult, yet life changing experience!

There are not enough words to describe the support we have been shown. It has been overwhelming at times, but it is just what we have needed. We have also experienced heart ache through this experience. We have suffered loss, but sometimes in life ‘things’ need to die in order to usher in new life. We have learnt so much through this process which we hope to share with anyone who wants to listen.

This journey is far from over, and I am ok with that. Obviously I have my days and I wish things were different, but I know there is a bigger picture to view. We take each day that we have and try to make the most of it! No matter what – our hope lies in Him!



Family Life Update

My Insecurities

We all have insecurities. Here are a few of mine. What about you? What insecurities do you struggle with?




Family Health Journey Update

Just Keep Going!

Those are the words I hear echoing in my ears over and over again.

I take comfort in them, for I know Who it is who whispers them to me. They bring me peace and confidence – knowing that I am not alone. Never!

For the longest time I struggled with my thought life since the diagnosis. Everyday I would think about dying. I would constantly feel sorry for myself. I was was constantly gripped with fear of leaving my wife and kids behind. I don’t want to die, I am too young – I would tell myself. My thought life was consumed by a dark and ominous cloud, and it didn’t want to leave. It hung over my head for a real long time.

Well, my thought life has become a lot more positive the past few months. I don’t remember when the clouds began to break. It was a slow, painful, and gradual process – which isn’t quite over.

I must admit that I am so thankful that my mind isn’t consumed with death any longer, but it is filled with thoughts of a fun and fantastic future with my family. Don’t get me wrong, the fight isn’t over, but lately things have been going quite well in the ’emotions department’ for all of us in the Sabourin household. Don’t get me wrong, we still have our challenges, but God is doing a really good job at calming the storms of our lives with His Presence. He is really good at what He does!

He continues to encourage us to just keep going…

How can we pray for you? Please leave a comment below.