Today has been a pretty good day so far! For some reason I thought it might be somewhat emotional with this being the one year mark since the diagnosis. Just yesterday Jamie admitted to me for the first time that there was a time when she didn’t think I would make it to see River’s 5th birthday.
Well, I am still here and still fighting!
It was nearly 6 months ago when I experienced a breakthrough in regards to the mental game of fighting for your life. The first six months being I was consumed with my mortality and actually believing I would survive this diagnosis.
Then the breakthrough came!
Since then, death is not something I give any thought to. I take each day I am given and do my best to make the most of it. Today was a good day, and for a couple of reasons, but only one I want to share here in this post.
This morning before church I was sitting on the bench outside of the school where we meet each Sunday. I happen to be sitting with my two boys – chatting about the day and what may happen. As we were sitting there, Jill Burkinshaw – a woman who was instrumental in pairing up Jamie and I 12 years ago was walking down the path towards the front of the school.
(Not only was Jill key to Jamie and I meeting, and eventually getting married – she has been an incredible blessing to our lives and the lives of many others.)
In her hand was a white bag and she headed straight for the boys and I. We greeted one another and then she handed me the bag. In it was a beautiful potted, yellow flower. At first I thought it might be for Jamie, but she handed it to me and congratulated me on making it through this year.
What a thoughtful gift!
Even in the midst of Jill walking out her own journey with her husband’s health she thought about the importance of this day, and gave such a beautiful card with such meaningful words – and a beautiful flower!
This definitely made my day!
Thanks Jill for your thoughtfulness and your love for us as a family.
For those who were asking yesterday during the Facebook Feed, here is a copy of the Glycemic Index we use. Please feel free to download it and print it off. We hope it will serve as a guideline when deciding what foods to eat.
(from the internet)
The Glycemic Index is a scale that ranks carbohydrate rich foods by how much they raise blood glucose sugar levels compared to a standard food. The Glycemic Index measures the increase in blood glucose levels during the two hours after eating a particular kind of food. Some foods that contain carbohydrate create a quick and more dramatic rise in blood glucose, such as white rice and dry cereal.
Those are the words I hear echoing in my ears over and over again.
I take comfort in them, for I know Who it is who whispers them to me. They bring me peace and confidence – knowing that I am not alone. Never!
For the longest time I struggled with my thought life since the diagnosis. Everyday I would think about dying. I would constantly feel sorry for myself. I was was constantly gripped with fear of leaving my wife and kids behind. I don’t want to die, I am too young – I would tell myself. My thought life was consumed by a dark and ominous cloud, and it didn’t want to leave. It hung over my head for a real long time.
Well, my thought life has become a lot more positive the past few months. I don’t remember when the clouds began to break. It was a slow, painful, and gradual process – which isn’t quite over.
I must admit that I am so thankful that my mind isn’t consumed with death any longer, but it is filled with thoughts of a fun and fantastic future with my family. Don’t get me wrong, the fight isn’t over, but lately things have been going quite well in the ’emotions department’ for all of us in the Sabourin household. Don’t get me wrong, we still have our challenges, but God is doing a really good job at calming the storms of our lives with His Presence. He is really good at what He does!
He continues to encourage us to just keep going…
How can we pray for you? Please leave a comment below.
We are continually blown away by the support we have been shown since the diagnosis. The other day I created a video talking about some of the issues one faces when dealing with cancer. In the video I talked about weight loss and how I don’t have any clothes now as I have lost so much weight. Well, someone watched the video and helped me out in a BIG way! I created this video in hopes of saying thanks to the individual who helped me out with some gift cards to the Gap, Old Navy, or Banana Republic. Thank you for your generosity!