I can remember a time when I didn’t think this day was possible. Tomorrow marks one year since our lives were radically altered. That day is still so vivid in my memory banks! I find it somewhat difficult to articulate the range of emotions and feelings I experienced that day! If there was just one – I would say anger!
My anger was directed at myself and God! How could He allow something like this to happen? Doesn’t He know who I am? After some time, the anger I felt was now directed at myself. How could I allow this to happen? Why didn’t I act sooner? Why did I eat so horribly? On and on it goes.
If I was honest – I would say that the anger is still there – but not to the degree that it once was. Nobody wants to live with cancer. It is such an unwanted houseguest. It barged into our lives without any announcement and it moved right in. Everyday since the diagnosis I have been doing what I can to evict this horrible disease!
Throughout this year I (and my family) have experienced many highs and lows. We have felt the incredible love and support from so many! Our family and close friends have been amazing! Even complete strangers have embraced us! It has truly been a difficult, yet life changing experience!
There are not enough words to describe the support we have been shown. It has been overwhelming at times, but it is just what we have needed. We have also experienced heart ache through this experience. We have suffered loss, but sometimes in life ‘things’ need to die in order to usher in new life. We have learnt so much through this process which we hope to share with anyone who wants to listen.
This journey is far from over, and I am ok with that. Obviously I have my days and I wish things were different, but I know there is a bigger picture to view. We take each day that we have and try to make the most of it! No matter what – our hope lies in Him!