Here is a video I created of Memphis and I going to the Vancouver Canucks game on Thursday night. Thanks again to our friends Derek & Tiffany for the tickets!
Monthly Archives
February 2016
It’s not easy asking for help.
Our pride gets in the way.
It can be embarrassing to ask for help.
You are afraid of what others are going to think about you.
What are people saying behind your back?
There are a lot of ‘reasons’ that keep people from asking for help.
No one wants to admit, or show weakness.
But the reality is, we all need help. There are times and seasons in all of our lives when we will need to reach out, and utter the four letters – HELP!
That’s the problem! – Reaching out to others. It can be so hard to do.
Over the past 6 months, our family has been loved on, cared for, prayed over, encouraged, and comforted by many people. The generosity and support that has been extended to our family has been incredible! Words are inadequate to describe or express my heart-felt gratitude to all who have helped our family through this difficult time.
That is why it pains me to ask for help once again.
I have wrestled with writing this for the past few weeks as my pride keeps getting in the way. Jamie and I have been praying and discussing what we should do. We know it seems crazy to many of you the path we have chosen to fight this deadly disease, but we feel this is the path we are to take. It would be obviously easier, and cheaper to go the conventional route, but we are not willing to go down that path again.
Because of our choice, we now have to live with new realities.
The cost of weekly treatments. (Approx. $1600 per week)
The cost of my medications. (A few hundred a month)
Even the cost of food. (Don’t ask)
We are not looking for a bailout – just help, as we know we are not the only ones facing difficult times. We are also thinking of ways to create new revenue streams because we will need them to keep covering the ongoing costs of this long, journey ahead. Here are a few ideas we are working on…
Jamie is a gifted cook and I have been trying to encourage her to try to sell some of her creations. The other day she made some of her homemade protein bars for a friend who decided to give her a few bucks for them. It was so satisfying seeing Jamie get so excited about the possibilities. If you or if you know anyone who would be interested in some of Jamie’s incredible cooking let us know, and send us an email at sean@seansabourin.com We are still working on the details, but we are very excited about this.
We have also created some other items to sell such as: etsy type prints, t-shirts, and wood coasters to try and sell to help cover the ongoing costs.
This may seem desperate to some, and I agree – it is. I am desperate. Wouldn’t you be? I want to live! I not ready to die. I don’t want to be embarrassed or afraid to ask for help – so I am asking for your help. If you can help out great! If not, we understand. Maybe you can’t help in a tangible way, but maybe you know someone who can. I am helping a few companies out right now with their social media as I have a lot of time sitting around during my treatments. I am looking for ways to not only pass the time, but if there are things I can do, or help with than I want to. I also have experience with Photoshop and website design. If you know anyone, would you consider sharing a story with them? We could use all the help we can get right now. Thanks.
Gross.
Disgusting.
Repulsive.
Are just a couple of words we use to describe scars. Let’s be honest, they aren’t the most beautiful things to look at. They can even be painful. The memory, or situation around why you have a scar in the first place that is.
Many see their scars as imperfections.
We live in a society where we try to cover up our scars. Our warts. Wrinkles. Our flabby skin. People take extreme measures to hide their scars, but what if we stopped doing that? Instead, what if we started embracing our scars? Our scars tell a story. Not all our scars tell riveting, or Hollywood production type stories, but there is a story there none the less.
I was looking in the mirror this morning and saw a scar on my neck from when this journey first began. It is from the port they installed in me when I first started chemo. When I see the scar, I immediately think about the chemo room in the Abbotsford hospital. That was not a fun time! It makes me want to throw up just thinking about it.
Our scars serve as a visible reminder of times past.
Difficult times.
Painful times.
Maybe even playful times.
This scar not only reminds me of that difficult time in my life. It is also a daily reminder of God’s mercy and His grace. As much as I want to hide it because I don’t like the way it makes me look. I choose to embrace it. I choose to not cover it up, but rather allow it to motivate me to keep going. I hope you do the same.
Now I understand that some may scoff at the title of this post, but I am ok with that.
Just say’in.
But honestly, He did.
A couple of weeks ago I had this idea of contacting some friends I know in the ministry and see if I could come and share our journey at their church one Sunday. Just as I was preparing to send an email, I had this sense that I shouldn’t send the email. I wrestled with that for a bit, because everything inside of me wanted to send the email. I didn’t send it. I just waited. Later that day, I had these words flash across my mind’s eye ‘pray about it. Ok. I know that voice. I have heard it before. So I right there I poured out my heart before the Lord. I felt at peace, and that I was just to leave things well alone. God had heard my prayer.
The very next day. Honestly, I am not making this up. I received a phone call from a gentleman inviting me to speak at an upcoming banquet. The very next day! Can you believe it? Now some out there may say, ‘just coincidence.’ Say that all you want to, but I know God answered my prayer. Does He answer all of them? No. Why does He seem to answer some, but not all? Good question. I don’t know why.
What I do know is He answered my very simple prayer. “God, would you open up doors for us to share the story You are writing with our lives.” He not only answered it the very next day, I have also been invited to two other places to come and share. It is so humbling, and yet exhilarating to know that God hears my prayers – that alone is enough for me!
Praying for more doors to be open…
It seems like forever since I last wrote anything. I haven’t been really motivated to write anything lately because I feel like I am in a slump. A writing slump that is. I have shared it before, but writing doesn’t come natural to me. I have to force myself to write something down, and I don’t know how many times I use the delete button.
There really isn’t much new happening right now. Last week I increased my Vitamin C IV therapy to two a day. I had a rough few days this week with not feeling too well. I guess that happens when you are riding your body of nasty toxins. Other than that, I am continuing with my treatment schedule as we continue to see improvements with the treatment protocol I am on. I am trying to add a little more exercise in my routine. Exercise and I have never really gotten a long, but I am trying to walk and ride my bike on a more consistent basis.
When I was first diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer I was devastated! It wasn’t soon after that I started to struggle with my thought life. I kept thinking about how damaged I was. I became quite depressed and hopeless. Suicidal even at times. My self-esteem took a few hits for a couple of months. I felt isolated in my mind, because I thought I was different from everyone else. I know had a ‘expiration date.’ Then I was walking home the other day from the doctor’s office I had an interesting thought pop into my mind. The thought was “Sean, you’re no different from anyone else. Everyone has an expiration date.” The thought just penetrated my heart. It is true. We are all the same. We are born. We live. We die. No one knows when they will be born. No one knows when they die (unless for the obvious reasons), but we all have a say in how we will live our lives! What do you choose?
Today, I choose life! I choose love. I choose to forgive. I choose to fight. I choose to keep going. I choose life!